F: Sometimes I like to cross the street with my shoes off because sometimes I like to feel the street on my feet.
I wander into the non-office part of the house for a drink of water. M is at the dining room table. Kids are under it. Last thing I hear before I'm out of range is R trying to growl like a lion and F yelling "Oh no! The animals are out of the zoo!"
The fun part was turning the water pressure up and down.
F: I really like the sprinkler! The not-fun part was getting wet.
F (lying in bed): I had a great day today!
B: Did you go on adventures with Mommy?
B: Did you play in the sprinkler?
B: Did you hang out with Lana and Katie and Ben?
B: What was your favorite part of the day?
F: Eating chocolate cake!
F: Why can't we go to outer space right now?
B (apparently fatigue makes me a dream crusher): It takes a LOT of pushing, and we'd have to control where we go, and it's really cold out there.
F: But we'll be in a ROCKET!
F: I can't take a nap in the car because I have to look out the left window, and I have to look out the right window, so I can see the other cars and make sure they don't crash into the back of our car.
F (in the car): Pee! Pee! Pee! Pee!
M: Did you pee in your diaper?
F (in an indignant tone): I'm not TALKING about the pee that comes out of my BODY! I'm talking about the LETTER P!
F (to Uncle Matt): When you're dead, can we come visit, if we're not dead?
F has two pigtails on the top of his head.
F: Uncle Michael, can I put a rubberband in YOUR hair?
B: Uncle Michael didn't have any hair!
M: You can use my armpit.
F and Uncle Matt are back inside from playing with UM's marshmallow shooter.
F: Daddy, will you go back outside to play with me?
B: Maybe later
UM: You should get a new daddy
F: I can't get a new daddy!
UM: Why not?
F: There's no stores that sell daddies
F is trying to make R laugh.
F: Refrigerator! (starts laughing)
M: You should tell her a joke. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well. (F laughs. R starts to laugh)
F repeats that joke, then: Why did the garage go to the doctor? Because it wasn't opening well!
F: Why did the light go to the doctor? Because it wasn't turning on well!
F: Why did ROSIE go to the doctor? Because she was sick!
F is at a playground 800 miles from home. First thing I hear him say to another kid is "This is my house. There's no visitors!" Later, he runs by me and says "I'm making friends by kicking them out of my house!" Later, "C'mon, new guy, follow me!" to the same kid.
F: I love you all so much except when you give me a time-out.
M: What's your favorite thing about New Jersey?
M: What's your favorite thing about Uncle Matt & Aunt Mary?
F: Their M&M fan!
M: Uncle Michael?
F: He chases me!
M: Aunt Nancy and Uncle Rich and Dana and Kerry?
F: That thing Kerry does!
F: Yeah, but her teeth are on her lip.
M: Look at the full moon!
F: What's in it?
M: What do you mean?
F: What's it full of?
Lap child on airplane, best case scenario
F: Mommy, I love you a lot more than I love Daddy. I only love Daddy up to where the airplanes fly, and I love you to past all the universes.
6:30pm. M is reading The Little Mermaid to F and R. They get to the page with the witch. R points right at the witch's picture and says "Mommy!"