F: Can I have another drink of water? I keep drinking and then getting thirsty again. I don't know where it goes. Maybe out the bottom of my foot.

F: What's on the porch? Is it a monster?
R (leans on her Mommy and squeezes): Save me!

F: Mommy gave me some money this morning. I like it because it's gold, even though it's fake. But I remember, a long time ago, when I was three ... I had REAL money. I think we left it behind when we moved.

F: I have a magic flashlight. I turn it on and, poof, I'm three!

If he can make it work in the general case we're all going to be rich.

F: Rosie, I love you all to pieces, but it is time for bed.

F: A long time ago, when we we in Michigan, there were trucks with FEET! They were really big trucks, so they had really big feet. I don't know why they had feet. Maybe their wheels were tired.

F and R are having a hard time going to sleep. F keeps coming out to tell me R wants me.

B: Do you want another kiss goodnight?
R: Noooo!
F: Maybe she wants money.

F out of bed again.

F: Daddy, R isn't in her bed.
B: Ok, I'll go take care of her, but you need to go to sleep.
F: I can't. She's in MY bed.

And she is.

F: Have you ever seen poop come out a mouth?
B: No.
F: A long time ago, in spring, there was a person, and she was very fat, and she ate so much that she pooped out her mouth! It was silly.

F (out of bed): Daddy, I can't sleep. R keeps coming over and saying "wake up F" I go in. R is lying in her bed, albeit with her eyes open.

B: Ok, F. Just go to sleep.
R (as soon as the door closes behind me): Wake up, F!

I open the door, she is leaning over F.

January Picnic, January 11

F came out to use the bathroom shortly after he went to bed last night. On the way back he stopped to see me.

F: Daddy, when you're done using Mommy's computer, are you going to clean the house? Can you clean the dirty dishes and finish the laundry? R and I are in bed now, but in the morning we can help you with the legos.

January Picnic, January 12

From under there, I hear the sounds of the (toy) elmo phone, followed by:

F: Hello, I'm in a cave and I wondered if you wanted to come by ... it's kind of north ... I mean kind of south ... right by the rocket ship port.

F: R, do you want to come in my cave? Only poison people allowed.
B: Only poison people??
F: Only TOYS AND PEOPLE!

F (to M): Next Halloween, I'm going to be a toilet. You can flush me, but I won't let you poop in me.

F (wanting to get out of bed instead of settling down to sleep): I'm concerned about Mommy. I think I like her too much because I love her past all the universes.

Reason for why they weren't asleep the second time I went in:

F: We found a fun new thing to do. We kiss really hard and then we blast off.

A couple hours later, I'm wondering if he said kick instead of kiss.

F: Daddy, while you and Mommy were sleeping last night, R and I woke up. And we went [screaming noise] and spun around. Then we pretended the kitchen was outside and we went there. And we looked at the sink and saw a monster. So we went [screaming noise, yet somehow a different one] and crawled back into bed.

F: Daddy, we should go to Annie's house more oftener
B: Yeah, you guys are pretty good friends, huh?
F: She has a big tow truck!

F asks to be carried. B is carrying other stuff, too, and slings F over shoulder.

F (sounding upset): Put me down right now!
B: Are you ok?
F: Your shoulder was hurting my tummy. If I had a hinge there it wouldn't hurt, but I don't.

Beginning of F's bedtime story:

F: Once there was a red robin. She went deep into the ocean and she got eaten by a fish. So she was sad. So a crab said, "Don't eat her!" And he cut the fish open and she was free. So she got out of the water and she was mad. Because she was wet.

Mostly I lost track after that, but there were bears and wolves and it ended when she was eaten by a grape(!)

F (trying not to go to sleep): I have to read this letter. It says they're going to shut off the water AND THE AIR if we don't pay the bill

F: My body says it wants to stay awake.
B: You should tell it that it's time to go to sleep.
F (immediately): Body, GO TO SLEEP!
(Pause)
F: It says no.

F: I want to get up first thing in the morning to play with my trains
B: You should tell your body that the sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you'll be up playing trains
F: Body, THE SOONER YOU GO TO SLEEP THE SOONER WE CAN PLAY WITH TRAINS IN THE MORNING!
(Pause)
F: It says it doesn't care.

M has had the kids playing "tow zone" all day. I now believe it was all a set-up for:

F (on top of a toy train, being dragged around by R): I'm getting towed!
M: I'm getting frog!

We have refrigerator magnets that are finger puppets of Great Artists (I know, right?) F is playing with Vincent Van Gogh. He's pretending to cook and eat him. He hands VVG to M

F: Here, Mommy, it's a hot guy!

B (in car): What song do you guys want to sing?
F: Let's not sing a song. Let's me and R be quiet until you pretend you think you forgot us.

F (singing): Willoughby wallaby w-----, an elephant sat on R...
R: No! No elephants sit on me!

F at birthday party, playing with one of those streamer things.

F: Daddy, I just ate a bug!
B: You what??
F: I flicked out my froggy-tongue and I ate a bug!