F & R Figure Out the World

April 2013

Birthday party at Drop Zone. Bribed F to help R through a thing. Now that's all he's doing - finding other random kids and helping them through. Maybe he grows up to be a sherpa.

R is staring at her pinkies.

R: I love my pinkie fingers better than anything!
F: Why?
R: Because they're so little!
F: More than oatmeal?
R: Yeah!
F: More than (Lego Princess) Leia?
R: No, I like her more
F: More than a magic wand?
R: Yeah!
F: No, I mean a REAL magic wand
R: I like real magic wands better, because I can turn you (pointing to F) into a fairy!

F: I wish I had a real magic wand
R: Why?
F: Then I could do tricks!
B: Like what?
F: I could disappear
R: If I had a real magic wand, I could disappear right before time for school!

F: I am NOT a Siamese cat! I am a cheese roller!
B: Why do you keep saying that?
F: Because Annie says it. Also: I am not the time! I am a Siamese cat!
B: But you just said you weren't a Siamese cat.
F: I am a cheese roller!

Walking out of Pizza Hut, Chesterton, IN...

R: Hold my hand, Daddy. I'm scared!
B: Of what?
R: Bats!
B: Why??
R: Some bats are vampires!
B: You don't need to be scared of vampire bats.
R: Why?
B: Well, the nearest place they live is Mexico. And they're not like real vampires. I mean, there are no real vampires. They're not like the stories you hear. They don't kill you, and they don't bite necks. They bite big toes while you're sleeping.
R: Oh! So if I see a sleeping vampire bat, I'll run away fast!
B: Not when THEY'RE sleeping. When YOU'RE sleeping.
B: So when I see a vampire bat and I'm sleeping, I'll run away fast. ... Or I could wear shoes!

R: Daddy, can you put the clothes on this baby?
B: Ok. This is (cousin) I's baby, right?
R: Well, when I'm here, all the toys are mine!

Watching the storm.

They have lined up all of the protect-y guys.

F&R are nekkid, jumping on their beds.

B: I can see your butts!
R: No you can't! We're invisible!
B: Why are you invisible?
F: We're fighting bad guys. So we have to be invisible.

Figuring out the world early Saturday morning:

R: I think there's TWO F's!
B: Why?
R: Because there's two R's!
B: There are? Where'd you meet the other one?
R: At the bounce house. I like bounce houses!
B: You don't say. Why?
R: Because you can BOUNCE! And JUMP! And if you fall, it doesn't hurt, because bounce houses are SQUISHY!

Part 2. In the car. She's directly behind me where I can't see her.

R: Daddy, I have blood!
B: Of course you do.
R: But I have it in my mouth!
B: Oh? Are you bleeding? Should I pull over?
R: No, it's inside my lips and my tongue. Did you know that some people are alive and some people are dead? I don't want to die. Mommy says I'm not going to die for a long time. That makes me happy.

F: No! Don't put that there! That's my secret hiding spot. It's where I put things so you can't find them.
R: But I need a secret hiding spot too!
F: Here. You can put things here and I won't be able to find them.

R: I'm going to go to college. But first I'm going to high bird school. I'm going to learn how to fly there, and they're going to give me a real magic wand! And look! Fighting school is right next door.

(R runs to her room.)

R: Now I'm going to sleep school!

F: Guess how many toes I have?
B: Negative seven?
F: No!
B: Fourteen minus four?
F: No!
B: Are you sure?
F: Yeah. I don't have eighteen toes.
B: Mommy, what's fourteen minus four?
M: Ten
F: Well, I don't have ten toes, either. I have eighty eight plus a hundred. I keep the rest in my belly.

And just when I thought they were perfectly adorable...

F: What's the easiest finger to rip off of someone? I think it's probably the thumb.

F: What's Iron Man's superpower? Does he iron the bad guys? What does he use? His foot?

R: There are two o's
F: No, there's more. There's o the letter, and o is a food, and the word "oh", and o can be a zero. So there's FOUR o's!

R and F's pancake order arrives. We expect two. There are three. So we just give him two and her one.

F: Daddy, why do I have two and R only has one?
B: That's just for now. If you are done, and have some left, and R eats all of hers, and wants more, we'll give her some of yours.
F: That would never happen in a million years!

B: There's our car.
F: Why is it there?
B: Because that's where we parked.
F: But why is it STILL there?
B: Because it can't go anywhere by itself.
F: Why can't cars jump?
B: What would they use to get up in the air?
F: Boingy tires?

Toes in the water!

Frankie is making a card for his friend's 5th birthday. He is decorating it with math equations (and star wars Lego stickers). Enjoy, E!

F & R Figure Out the World

F & R Figure Out the World