F & R Figure Out the World

May 2013

That rare parenting moment when everything works:

B: R, it's time for your nap.
R: No! I need more time!
B: How much time do you want?
R: A hundred minutes.
B: You can't have a hundred minutes. Do you want a hundred seconds?
R: I want a hundred years!
B: What's that thing you're playing with?
R: The earth!
B: Do you know what it's called when the earth goes around the sun?
R: No.
B: Go ask your mom
R: Mommy, what's it called when the earth goes around the sun?
M: A year.
B: And where's my son?
F: Right here
B: Ok, can you count to 100 while I move this earth around you?
F: Yeah!
B: Ok, R, you can have 100 years.

Followed by an eagerly napping R.


That more normal parenting moment:

B: I love it when you snuggle your face in my arm like that, R
R: I'm not snuggling. I have snot.
B: Oh.
R: Now YOU have snot.


F: I wish I was Magic E. No. I wish I had a magic wand.
R: If I had a magic wand I would snuggle with it at night.
F: If I had a magic wand I would run straight at the trees and the branches would get out of my way.
R: If someone in school tried to fight with me I would use my magic wand to tell the teacher.


B: Nope I'm not helping you up onto the swing, and I'm not pushing you.

Then tears.
Then this.
It is SO hard for me to say no to them. But lately it feels like every time I do, they figure out they're more capable than they thought.


Can't believe how many sentences are coming out of my mouth that start with, "On the REAL Millennium Falcon..."

But, really, we got it for the kids. We swear.


R runs down sidewalk, jumps into B's arms. B holds her up high as he carries R to car.

R: Don't drop me, Daddy!
B: Have I every dropped you? (Important to remember which kid I can ask that.)
R: No, but Mommy does sometimes, when we play Table Mother.
B: What's Table Mother?
M: Not Table Mother. We play Terrible Mother.


R chases B on sidewalk. R falls. R skins knee. Much wailing ensues.

R: I don't like when I fall on concrete!
B: Yeah. Maybe next time you'll chase me on the grass?
R: Maybe. But I'll have to be careful so I don't run into trees!


R runs to B and jumps into B's arms.

B: Wow. You seem happy to see me.
R: I AM happy to see you. When Mommy's not here I really like you.

Ain't that the truth.


Scenes from Ladd Arboretum:

R: Have you seen the hole I found in the Arboretum?
B: No!
R: I found a hole and I'm going to show it to you. I'm really serious about the hole. I don't know where the hole is.

F: Daddy, can we stop on that bench and take a rest?
B: Ok.
R (close to tears): I don't wanna rest!
F: Me and Daddy can rest on the bench and you can guard us.
R: Ok! (R starts growling)

F takes off at full sprint.

B: I thought you wanted to rest.
F: I do! If I run, I can start resting sooner.

R climbs up on bench after all and snuggles up next to F.

F: I know you're not resting, R. You're just getting love. Here's some. (Puts arm around her.)
R: I'm all out of love.
F: I have some for you. Did you spend it all at the love-sucking store?
R: Yeah.
F: You shouldn't do that. You should spend it all on Mommy. She's the love-giving store. Daddy's the love-taking store.


Reason I'm glad I sit on the other side of the table:

R: Achoo!

M starts frantically wiping herself.

R: I sneezed EVERYWHERE!
B: Where are we supposed to sneeze?
R: In my elbow!
B: Did you sneeze in your elbow?
R: No. I didn't know I was going to sneeze.
B: It was a surprise sneeze?
R: Yeah! I know it was a surprise sneeze because all the food came out of my mouth!

M groans.


B: Do you want pancakes for breakfast or oatmeal?
F: R wants a cat!
B: A cat??
R (close to tears): I don't WANT a cat! I want to BE a cat!


Sitting in restaurant booth. R holds up one of the rain boots she had formerly been wearing.

F: Hey, that's my boot.
R: Yeah!
F: Where'd that come from?
R: It came from outer space!


Field Museum. Underground exhibit. Woolf spider eating a grub.

R: No, Daddy, don't go any closer! He'll get you!
B: What would happen if he did?
R: He'd beak you up into little pieces, and eat them!
B: And what would YOU do?
R: I'd find a grownup, and show them the phone number on my arm. But not YOUR number, Daddy, because you'd be dead. I'd show them MOMMY'S number.


R going down for nap. She has food on her face, but in dim light I can't tell what color, much less what, it is.

B: What'd you have for lunch.
R: I can't tell you. It was a secret.
B: Was it peanut butter?
R: I said it was a secret!
B: Was it secret peanut butter?
R: Yeah!


F is really excited about school tomorrow:

F: A lot of the stuff at school tomorrow is going away.
B: Why?
F: Because we didn't clean it up today.
B: That's too bad.
F: Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to play with. But if we clean up really good tomorrow, WE CAN GET IT ALL BACK THE NEXT DAY!
R: Yeah!


Overheard from the next room, where M is reading Anansi the Spider to them:

F: But why are they all arguing? Can't they just share the reward?
R: Or they could do "engine, engine, number nine!"

I really wish I had a recording of him saying that. Would only come in handy maybe 50 times a day...


F & R Figure Out the World

F & R Figure Out the World

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