F doing typical dumbass daredevil things with his sister, yelling fake "ow"s: Look of delight.
F hurts himself a little bit. Fake "ow" turns into real "ow": Mix of pain and indignation as he approaches M for comfort.
F realizing that the body part Mommy is going to have to kiss is his butt: Pure demonic glee.
Partial problem description:
R: The living room and dining room are SO CLEAN!
B: I know! Isn't it great?
R: I don't know.
B: Well, do you like it better clean or dirty?
R: I don't care.
Nice things to hear at bedtime:
R: Daddy, did you know there's a love string between you and me?
F: No, I don't want you to read it to me, I'll read it myself.
R: Daddy, we're having a race of suck.
B: You're what?
F: We're racing to see who can suck our popsicles faster.
B: R, what do you want for breakfast?
R: I'm not R today. I'm Om Nom. I'm from Cut the Rope.
B: Ok, Om Nom, what do you want for breakfast?
ON: Om Nom wants candy for breakfast!
B: That's funny. What do you really want?
ON: Om Nom ONLY eats candy.
B: Not happening.
ON: (sigh) Fine. I'll have R breakfast and I'll PRETEND it's candy.
R: Daddy, I have to keep stopping. Not because I'm scared of going too fast downhill. I mean, I AM scared of going too fast downhill. But I have to keep stopping because there's just so much beautiful around me!
F: I don't want a graham cracker. Isn't there something else I can eat?
B: Not really.
F: What about a juice bomb?
B: What on earth is a juice bomb?
F: A plum!
In car. R screams at the top of her lungs.
M: R! You can't do that! You're damaging the cilia in our ears!
R (laughing): There's SILLY in our ears!
B: Why did you scream?
R: Because F turned the back of the car freezing! And he's making it ALL ICE and NO SNOW!
Entering highway. B closes car windows.
B: R, we close the windows every time we get on the highway.
R: Can't we leave them open this once? My hair dance party will get super fast!
B: Look at that big dog!
F: That's not a real dog.
B: What are you talking about? Look, it's moving.
F: It's not a statue. It's a robot dog.
Note: It's not a robot dog
F: I want to see a constellation!
R: There's the big dipper!
R: I don't know!
Driving past a whole bunch of propane tanks.
B: What are pups?
M: Propane tanks.
M: That's what R calls them.
R: I don't know. I just like to call them that.
F: I don't like to call them that. I like to call them exploding tanks!
F: I want the soup.
M: You do? Why?
F doesn't answer.
B: I don't know if they have soup for breakfast. But if they do, do you really want it?
F: It's the only thing they have that I like.
F (points to specials board)
B: Oh! That's not the whole menu, you know. (Hands F breakfast menu)
F: I could have all of this??
B: Well, pick out what you want, and we'll talk.
F is now waiting for his breakfast hot dog. He's obviously related to Uncle Michael.
Walking to Aunt Joyce's house, picking wildflowers along the way.
From the kids' dinner table:
F: I've got a brain SO GOOD, I can make a plan gooder than all three of you.
R: I'm bigger than E, so I'm stronger than him.
E: Well, I'm bigger than a baby.
R: I have to have you give us peace because we're not fighting you!
E: Are you seven?
A: He's not seven, he's six like me.
R: E's gonna be seven.
A: No, he's not. He's three.
R: But, eventually!