Mathematical objection to double negatives may be hereditary.
R: Daddy, this song says we're always going to see unicorns!
B: Huh, no, it says they're all gone.
F: Yeah, they all drowned. They're extinct now!
R: It says you're never going to see no unicorns. If we never see none, that means we always see at least one!
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F: Daddy, I really wish I had an on-off switch built in.
B: So you could turn out the light and stuff without having to get up?
F: No! So I wouldn't have to wait around to fall asleep!
B: That'd be nice, huh?
F: Yeah! Or maybe I could run on batteries, and when the batteries ran out, I'd fall asleep.
B: But what if the whole family was like that, and we all ran out at the same time? Who'd charge us?
F: If I missed school for enough days, they'd come looking for me.
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Yesterday morning, 6:38 AM. B gets up to go to bathroom. B decides to check on kids. R is standing on the bottom of her bed, in the dark, seemingly awake. B walks in.
B: Hey, are you ok? Do you need help with something?
R refuses to speak. Makes "Daddy, go away" gesture.
Later, same day.
B: Hey, what were you doing standing on your bed this morning when you didn't want me to come into your room?
R: I was watching the clock, waiting for it to be 7, so I could go in and snuggle with Mommy!
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Working together nicely (for a change). The project? Poking pins into a pumpkin.
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R: Daddy, while you were out bowling last night, we DESTROYED some pumpkins!
B: I saw! You made an amazing mess!
R: Yeah! Where's the knife? I want to do some more.
B: Um, not this morning, ok? I spent a lot of time last night cleaning up the mess. Can it wait until after school before you make even more?
R: Aww! Ok.
B walks into dining room. R is staring at a pumpkin.
B: What'cha doing, R?
R: I'm doing DESTROYING PLANNING!
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R brings B an old Babybug to read. It has "On the Bridge of Avignon."
B: I've only ever heard that song in French. It's one of the songs we used to play for you when you were really little.
R: Sing it in French!
B sings it in (terrible) French
B: You know, a lot of the French words are a lot like the words that mean the same thing in Spanish.
R: Like what?
B: Like pont and puente, and tout la monde and todo el mundo.
R: But those don't sound anything like each other!
B: I guess not, but they're spelled similarly. "Pont" is p-o-n-t and "puente" is p-u-e-n-t-e. And "monde" is m-o-n-d-e and "mundo" is m-u-n-d-o.
R: Daddy, is French the language you use if you want to speak Spanish but you're too lazy to say the ends of words?
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F: Daddy, can I fall asleep in your bed tonight?
B: Sure, but I'll probably carry you to your own bed later.
F: That's fine. I really like falling asleep here, but I don't much care where I wake up... unless it's a tent or something, or out of the house. Then I'd care.
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Two down, eighteen to go. Last time it happened in his sleep, so this is the first loss he's aware of.
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R: Daddy, I like almost all kinds of noodles.
B: Almost?
R: There's one kind of noodles that I still like the way they taste, but I don't like to actually eat them.
B: What are they?
R: Spaghetti.
B: And why don't you like to eat spaghetti?
R: It reminds me too much of worms. And I don't want to eat worms because I love them so much!
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He doesn't know he's being ironic.
B reading to F on back porch. Bee starts to fly around B. B waves hands, bee does not go away.
F: Daddy, let's go inside.
B: Because of the bee? Are you sure? I'm not really scared of it, it's just annoying me.
F: I'M scared of it.
B: But it's not bothering YOU.
F: It might.
We go in.
F: Do you know why it wasn't bothering me?
B: It was too busy with me?
F: Nope. It's because I was staying still. I can stay really, really still, Daddy. I'm the world's champ of being still. I'm Mr. Still.
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Inspired by the book with the bite taken out, he made mouse holes.
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R: I'm 5! Soon I'm going to be 6! And after that I'm going to be 7!
M: Slow down! I need you to be a kid!
R: ...and then I'm going to be 20!
M: Someday, you really WILL be 20!
F: Well, unless she's murdered or something.
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F & R Figure Out the World
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