F & R Figure Out the World

August 2014

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B: Just so you know, K might babysit you guys tomorrow night. Is that ok with you?
R: It's ok, but I'd rather it be (K's sister) T. Because I like her better.
B: Yeah, she's not really old enough to babysit.
R: Awww! I like her better because she's a girl and I like girls better than boys.
B: Why is that?
R: Because girls know how to dance and boys don't. The only ways I know how to dance are Beautiful Princess dancing and ballet.


Filling out the development questionnaire for R's preschool. Just had occasion to write, "*but she claims LOTS of inanimate objects as pets. Right now she is playing with a clementine onto which she has glued googly eyes. Her brother is playing similarly with a hard-boiled egg."

I love my life sometimes.


The babysitter at Bell's is made out of metal. And it's awesome.


Out of nowhere.

R: Daddy, if you had to choose between your finger catching on fire and getting frostbite, which would you choose? I would choose frostbite because at least that doesn't kill you.


F&R have constructed some kind of web out of wrapping paper ribbon in their room. It's a habitat for their (inanimate) pets.

B: You know I can't cuddle you in your beds without breaking some of the strings, right?
R: AWWWWW.
F: You can cuddle me in the chair for my cuddlebys.

I do.

R: Daddy, can you slide under the web into my bed?
B: Sorry, I can't. Can you just come here?
R: I really wish you were a kid. Then you could do it. Or if you could fly over.
B: Maybe we could cut just a couple of strings and then I could walk over there.
F&R: Nooooooo!
F: R, how about if Daddy cuddles you in HIS bed, and you fall asleep there, and then he carries you back to Blue Chair when he goes to bed and you sleep the rest of the night there?
R: I can only fall asleep in my own bed (note: this is patently not true)... Daddy, just turn into a kid!!

Cut one string, opened some drawers to loosen the strings tired to them, stepped over strings, cuddled in R's bed.

God I hope neither kid has to pee in the night.


On the mysteries of last night:

B: Do you know where I found you sleeping last night?
R: In my bed?
B: Nope. When I went in to check on you, you were on the floor.
R: Why was I on the floor?
B: I don't know. I was going to ask you.
R: I probably fell out of bed and it just didn't hurt... or maybe Mommy put me on the floor. And do you know why I woke up?
B: Why?
R: Well, I looked over at F's bed, and I didn't see F in his bed, so my body decided to wake me up.


Cheers!


M: How do birds fly?
R: They flap their wings and push the gravity down!


B: Hey. You're playing with Dummy Cat again!
R: Yeah. She's my baby. She's one day old.
B: Oh! Why do you call her Dummy Cat, again?
R: Because she's such a dummy!
B: What do you mean by that?
R: She's so dumb!
B: But how do you know she's dumb?
R: Because her name is Dummy Cat!


And now I know what my next nightmare will look like.


Ain't THAT the truth. F's first game of cribbage.

B: Ok, what's 15 and 8?
F (grumpily): I don't know.

(After lunch break)

F: Six. 18 + 6 = 24. And that's 3 sixes in a row, so that's six points.
B: Wow, you get a lot better at math when you're not starving, don't you?
F: Yeah. And also I get better at math when I'm not annoyed. Or when I want to do math. Or when I'm winning a game.


From his lips...

Cuddling in bed:

F: Did R like her first day of school?
R (from across room): Yeah!
B: Do you remember YOUR first day of school?
F (laughing): Yeah!
B: You're not going to do that again, are you?
F: I'm probably not going to want to go, but I don't think I'll ever throw a fit like that again. Though I do wish they'd never invented school.
B: Oh, you're full of it. You're going to love first grade.
F: Yeah, probably.


F: Hug bomb! (throws arms around R)
R: Hug bomb! (hugs him back)
F: Hugs!
R: Yeah! Can we stop being nice to each other soon?
B: Why?
R: It's so much work to be nice!


Wood fairy.


M, your back is in no danger from R.

B: Why are you walking so funny and so slow?
R: I can't step on any crack, and there are a LOT of cracks!
B: Oh. And why can't you step on any cracks?
R: Because the street is ice chunks and the cracks are cracks and there's water underneath and if I step on the cracks I'll fall through into the water!
B: Wow. Who told you about all that?
R: I figured it out myself!


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